Collecting Autographs by Mail

Most celebrities receive fan mail every day. Some get thousands of letters each week, which is why sometimes other people employed by the celebrity will handle their mail. These people come in the form of personal assistants, managers, publicists, and agents. When mail is received, the person opening it usually sorts it into three piles. These include things to be discarded, requests for autographed photos, and "special" correspondence that are usually letters from people who claim to know the celebrity or letters that tell a good story which might interest the star. Sometimes it includes letters from people who have simply put in a lot of effort. This last pile is the one you want to get your letter into.

So how do you make sure your correspondence gets noticed?

There’s a fine line between making a letter personal and meaningful to a celebrity and sending something that freaks them out and puts you on their list of potential stalkers. (Yes, these lists really do exist.)

Here’s the difference between meaningful and creepy.

Meaningful: Discussing how you’re a friend of the celebrity’s uncle.

Creepy: Telling the celebrity how you slept with his or her uncle.

Meaningful: Stating how you’ve always respected the person’s work.

Creepy: Telling them you have 18 copies of their first film.

Meaningful: Including a nice photo of you waving hello.

Creepy: Including a nude shot of yourself.

Including your photo is a good way to get noticed enough to have something personal sent back. When the celebrity or celebrity’s assistant can put a face with your letter, it’s less likely they’ll treat it like the 1600 others in front of them. Remember Rosie O’Donnell’s talk show where she’d always talk about a letter she received from a "cutie patootie?” That’s what I mean. Or watch Ellen DeGeneres’ talk show and notice how she mentions things people have sent her that almost always include a photo.

Professional autograph hounds usually include an unsigned 8x10 photo of the celebrity and some unsigned index cards plus a Sharpie pen and a self-addressed stamped envelope to make it as easy as possible for the star to sign the photo and send it back. Doing this, however, sometimes makes the celebrity or assistant think the signed photo will only end up on eBay, which they don’t like.

Instead, be personal. Reveal how the celebrity’s persona or work has had an impact on you. Did they get you to exercise more? Explore a different culture? Treat your kids better? The easiest rule of thumb is to think "if I received a letter like this out of 100 others and didn’t know the person, would I take it to heart?"

Follow the rules below and you’ll find yourself getting signed photos back in the mail in no time:

Be polite. Whether you’re requesting an autograph in person or through the mail, remember they may be famous but they don’t owe you anything.

Be original. If you use a form letter, it will be obvious from the start that you don’t really care about them.

Be personable. Tell the person what you admire about them, but don’t fawn. Concentrate on things the celebrity has achieved that make them proud instead of parts in films that brought them money but little satisfaction. For instance, if you’re writing Angelina Jolie, talk about how much you admire the fact that she donates so much time and money to orphanages in Cambodia and has adopted two children. That will most likely get a better response than. "I loved you in Tomb Raider."

Be positive. Don’t touch on negative things in the person’s life, and try to steer clear of your own problems unless the story you’re telling depends on it. If you lost your leg in a mosh pit at a Marilyn Manson concert then by all means go into great detail (he’d probably like that). But trust me…Martha Stewart does not want to hear about your enlarged prostate or the guy that dumped you. And she especially doesn’t want to be reminded that she went to prison or is a convicted felon.

KISS. No, not the envelope. KISS is short for "Keep It Simple, Stupid". No celebrity wants to read five pages of handwritten scrawl about your dog Muffin. Well maybe Ellen does, but she’s the exception.

Make it clear. Use a word processing program like Microsoft Word to type and print your letter. Celebrities are busy--they do not have time to decipher your handwriting.

Make it easy. Include a folded 9x12 manila envelope with postage affixed (this is called a self-addressed stamped envelope or SASE) inside a 10x13 envelope. If you’re not sure how much postage to include, ask your local post office or use an online service like Stamps.com to calculate and print exact postage from your computer. Celebrities may have a lot of money, but they’re not going to pay for postage to reply to every fan letter they receive.

Also include your own photo of the celebrity. This can be a photo torn from the pages of a magazine, or there are many places you can buy them online. A great place to get quality unsigned celebrity photos is http://www.AmazingCelebrityPhotos.com. Most stars have headshots and still photos from their most recent film they can sign and send you, but if they’ve run out, including one of your own will make getting a reply that much easier.

Keep it short. Your letter should be one to two pages typed, double-spaced.

Give a good reason. If you want the celebrity to write you back, you have to give them a reason. Asking a question is a great way to do this, especially if the question relates to something the person loves. When I was younger I wrote a letter to Kathy Bates asking her what the word "Towanda" meant that she kept yelling in the movie Fried Green Tomatoes.

She wrote me back on pig stationery (a nod to her role in Misery) that the word was a battle cry for an African Queen named Towanda, and that the scene where this had been explained had been cut from the final version of the movie. (It’s now included on the Collector’s Edition DVD.) She also included a full-size Fried Green Tomatoes poster. At the time, Kathy Bates had just won an Oscar for Misery, so don’t think that just because a celebrity is famous, they won’t write you back.

Ask for what you want. If you don’t ask for a signed photo, you probably won’t get one.

Be complete. Make sure everything you send has your name and address on it in case your material gets separated when the mail gets opened. Put your details on the envelope, on the letter, on the back of the photo, on the index card, on the SASE, etc. Put it on everything--just in case.

Be cheap. Don’t send anything valuable that can’t be replaced. There’s no guarantee you’ll get it back. Maybe you’d really like Ben Affleck to sign that Good Will Hunting poster you bought, but when that huge package gets delivered to his agent’s office, it becomes more of a problem than a favor--especially with increased security regarding packages from unknown people. (This is true even if you send something via UPS or FedEx.) If you want Hilary Duff to sign a CD, just send the liner notes, not the entire disc. Remember, if an item cost you a lot of money and it gets lost in the mail because you sent it to a celebrity, that’s your problem.

Be reasonable. One per customer--do not send 15 items to be signed or even three index cards. This is supposed to be about a fan connecting with their favorite star and that star doing them a small favor, not making a fortune on eBay. Though you won’t get killed for selling an autograph to make money (like an old one you no longer want), being respectful and courteous is always the best way to get a reply.

Be professional. Spell check, spell check, spell check! (Checking your grammar couldn’t hurt, either.)

Be patient. Getting a reply normally takes six to eight weeks, sometimes sooner--sometimes later. If the celebrity is filming a movie on location and away from home, it can take a while. Some celebrities take up to a year to send back a reply. The key here is to be patient. Remember, good things come to those who wait!

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